is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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