I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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