I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
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isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
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If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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