I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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