Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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