the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
