those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize