kristin has been a bad kristin
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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