we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
