I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
