Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
