So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
