sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
