My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
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Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself