i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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