Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.