I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
