She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
if only i could text you this smell
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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