I need help removing her.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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