I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
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Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
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I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize