Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
