So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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