She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
