I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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