I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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