can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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