and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
