Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
