i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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