If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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