Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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