is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
