omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
