If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
BRING THE BAGELS
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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