i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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