Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
