White coat. Heels.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
