Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is wine microwaveable?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
