I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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