You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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