no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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