fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize