Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
