the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she pinky promised me she was 18
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
