Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
