Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
