You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
