I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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