So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Less talking, more tequila
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
