Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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