I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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