I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
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I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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