umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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