this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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