She's JV to your varsity
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He did a backflip because drugs
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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