I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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