I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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