He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
